Email Forwards

I need to tell you all something. I am NOT a fan of email forwards.In fact, most of the time I hate them. You know why I hate them?? I will tell you WHY. They clutter up my inbox, and if the title is clever enough, I am forced to open them. Yes, forced. There may even be someone behind me twisting my arm. And what about the ones that threaten you to forward it to 10 people or else someone close to you will die (or something of that sort)?? That's just mean.
So, I got a forward a while back titled "The friendship Oath." Normally I would have just passed it by because, well, I already know that I am a FABULOUS friend and if you wanna tell me that, pick up the phone andgive me a little sugar. Anyway, this was from someone who never sends me a forward, so I though, "What the hell..." This is the friendship Oath:

"Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series
of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the
stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask ?,
"Because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only
you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you
can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to
hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some
tequila and salt and call me."

I forwarded it on. It was that Good.

Now, I got another email the other day from someone who does send me a lot of forwards, so I have to carefully sift through, since some are really long, and I don't have the time. This one was titled Chelsea Clinton. I thought I better open it, since it is election time and all. OMG, I think I died laughing. Check this out:


Chelsea Clinton recently discussed current events with a very wise U.S. soldier.



She asked if, as an American fighting man, anything scared him.

He told her there were only three things he feared:


1) Osama



2) Obama




AND

3) Yo Mama


THAT'S funny right there - I don't care who you are!