Saturday, April 5, 2008

Someone needs an attitude adjustment!!

Yesterday, I was desperately trying to function on two hours sleep. My daughter, Kendall, had been up ALL night long due to her "itchy Chicken Pops." And when I say all night, I mean ALL. NIGHT. At midnight, I decided I needed her to sleep, so I gave her Benadryl. Well, lucky me. The 'side effects' on the back include drowsiness OR excitability. Just guess which one my daughter had! Yep, so she was up. Just up. And I was tired. AS. ALL. GET. OUT. I don't function well on tired, just so you know.
At 11:30, Kendall and I went to pick up Nolan from school. They wanted Taco Bell. Fine-on ONE condition. I get a nap when we finish lunch. OK. We drive past Mr. Pickle's Sandwich shop. We see the dancing pickle (see photo and picture him groovin')

Now, on any other day, this pickle is hilarious. We drive by and laugh. But on this day, not so funny. ON this day, I roll down my window and say loudly (just in case he can hear underneath all that foamy polyester crap) " THAT dude needs to get a serious life!" Yeah, you have to remember my audience is a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Classy, mom.
Next stop, Taco Bell. I go around to go to the drive-thru. There are literally 15+ cars in that line. The line is looping around to the grocery store parking lot. It FIGURES. I carefully examine the few cars ahead of me and take a mental note that they are indeed ALONE. So, I say (out loud, mind you). YEAH, how many of these people are just TOO FREAKIN' lazy and how many of us ACTUALLY have a kid with chicken pox and CANNOT go inside??" Before anyone can answer me, I see the woman in front of me (who just pulled up to the speaker) OPEN her door to place her order. She opened her door, people...I mean is she just an inexperienced drive-thru orderer or what?? Regardless, I had something to say about it. I say, "WHAT A MORON! Who the crap opens their DOOR in the drive-thru to place their order?? IDIOTS!" This is when my 5-year-old chimes in, "Mom, maybe her window's broken." Wonderful, so now I am raising an optimist.

On a good note, I DID get my nap when we got home. The ninja went upstairs and played quietly in his room while the "Chicken Pops" girl and I took an hour and a half nap. I am better today. Talk to me; I promise not to rip your head off!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #24 - 13 Ways to say "You're Stupid" in a Gentle Manner

1. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
2. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
3. Forgot to pay his brain bill
4. A few clowns short of a circus
5. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
6. A few beers short of a six-pack
7. An experiment in artificial stupidity
8. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
9. One taco short of a combo plate
10. All foam, no beer
11. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
12. If he had another brain it would be lonely
13. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear