Thursday, November 1, 2007

13 Things That Bug the Crap Outta Me - THURSDAY 13 #5

I know there may be a couple duplicate sin this list from one of my very first posts, but if I am listing it again, then it must really piss me off.

1. Teenagers and PRE-teenagers in Slutty Halloween costumes. Who the heck lets these girls out of the house?? Then there's me with my pre-teen boy (he's 12 now, I guess he's officially 'PRE-teen') trying desperately to distract him so he doesn't stare!

2. Whiny children. Just speak to me in a regular voice. Ask me a question in your 'big boy/girl' voice and most likely you will get what you ask for. Unless it's asking me to watch Sponge Bob at 6:30 in the morning. I gotta draw the line somewhere.

3. People who are on the phone at the checkout. It's incredibly rude and self-centered. Hang up the phone for two seconds to say hello to the poor cashier who has been working her butt off for annoying people like you ALL day.

4. Candy. I know I have said before that chocolate makes me ill. What I did not mention is that I really do enjoy the stuff. And I am feeling the effects today. I hope I don't puke.

5. People who try to tell me how to raise my kids. I don't care how you did it with your kids, THIS is how I am doing it with mine. If they grow up in need of serious therapy, then I guess I did it wrong. For now, I will do it my way. For some reason God blessed me with three (sometimes) wonderful children. So I will raise them as well as I know how!

6. People who smoke in front of children. I don't care if you smoke, but please just take it outside so not to harm your precious babies with the toxic fumes from the end of your fag (yes it is a slang word for cigarette...and I LOVE using it!)

7. Self flushing toilets. I go in, I adjust the seat cover just perfectly and flushes down. So, I grab another seat cover I place it carefully on the seat, making sure I am not in the 'red light' area, I pull down my pants and quickly hop on the seat. Careful not to move once you're on the seat because if you do,...WHOOSH...and that's disgusting. Just plain gross. Who knows what fecal matter and urine just sprayed all up on your girly parts. When you get home, you need to shower after using one of these. Whoever invented them is an idiot.

8. People who can't drive. I am a good driver. The rest of y'all are idiots. My kids will even tell you so :-)

9. California stereotypes. No, I don't eat granola (not every day, anyway), I DO shave my legs and armpits, there are no palm trees where I live, and I don't have fake boobs (well, duh, they are down to my belly button!)or dyed blond hair.

10. My house that cannot stay clean. You can complain all you want, Mr. Husband man, but I do believe those are YOUR socks shoved in between the couch cushions, and YOUR plate caked with food still on the dinner table, and wait...I'm pretty sure that's YOUR laundry trailed from the front door, up the stairs, landing 2 feet away from the clothes hamper. Yep, I DO believe so.

11. My parents. I do love them dearly, I do. But when you come over, would it KILL you to clean up your coffee messes? Is it so difficult to get up off your butt and PLAY with the kids? Hey, dad....sit still and visit for a minute (can anyone say ADD??)

12. Early arrivers. When you say you are going to be here "Late afternoon/Early Evening, I assume you mean between 4:30-5. So, when you get here at 2 o' fricken clock, I AM a bit irritated. Anyone who has kids knows that when you are expecting company, the cleaning of the house cannot begin until about an hour before the guests are expected to arrive, or the house will be a disaster AGAIN by the time they get there. So, you will see where I have the problem. Unless you wanna see my house in shambles, DO NOT come early.

13. Nosy people. Mind your own dang business. You don't need to know every single detail. Blah!


Jeannene said...

"OMG...this is too funny, and true at the same time, very sarcastic sounding too by the way!!" I agree with everything..but the 13th one, "ARE YOU DIRECTING THAT TOWARDS ME??" My heart is truly in panic mode, cause i like detail, you know that Kelly, it against MUI??

Jeannene said...



Bloggers said...

I love it. We are so much alike all of those things bug me.

April Elizabeth said...

i am so guilty of #3 and I hate myself for it.

amy said...

love all of these. I hope that parents who let their teens dress like that read this blog..That bugs me too!

Samantha_K said...

Wow, if I did this list it'd have to be like, Thursday Thirty, LOL.
Happy TT!

Open Grove Claudia said...

Oh dear. I'm an incredibly nosey person.... sorry?

Happy TT.

Malcolm: said...

A lot of the things you listed bug me too. Esp. people who cannot drive. I commute to work so it is a daily battle.

I had no idea that not shaving ones legs/armpits was a California stereotype. Thanks for the info.

Sassy Lucy said...

OMG...we married brothers! Cellphones in checkouts, actually cell phones in almost any public place bug me...self flush toilets, evil I say...slutty costumes, oh yeah, I have two teen boys to distract from that trash, how is a mom supposed to find a good girl for her son?
Excellent blog list I'll be back to check in again...would love a visit if you have the time

Rhonda said...

Oh these are really good! You're funny...thx for the visit too!

Cecily R said...

Oh, Kelly, can we be friends? We are annoyed with so many of the same things!!!!

What is it with skanky costumes? Aren't they COLD in those things? And what kind of mom does let her tweenie kid out looking like she should camp out on the corner?

I'm so with you on #5. That irritates me to no end...especially when they try to parent my kid in front of me. Ughhh. I'm RIGHT HERE! I can do it! I promise!

Gracie is terrified of self flush toilets. I'm not totally sure why, but she hates them.

Bethany said...

I can't say I disagree with any of your 13. Well, except maybe #13. Because I'm one nosey B. Do you hate me!!!

I can't believe you put on toilet protectors... didn't your momma teach you to squat (which doesn't save you from the self flush... unless your really fast at wiping and pulling your pants up!)

Jeannene said...

"hey you, hope you are on the computee...come by my blog and pick up your treat from me, hope you like it!!"

lisa said...

I think its funny about the teens. See cause when I was that age I was the slutty dressed teen for Halloween. I just thought I looked pretty. Innocent or dumb not really sure.

Nicholas said...

re #1. Let his stare! It's all part of growing up! I always did!

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

Ohh, see, this is where I'm demented, and stuff.

I will watch Spongebob ANYTIME.


And can you believe some hoochie sat next to me at our community pool when I was pregnant out to next year, and lit up a cigarette?

I almost grabbed it and shoved it up her nose.

jenn said...

I spent Halloween with my sis~in~law saying the same thing about the t'weens. And what made it worse was when they were with their parents! And they were dressed just as bad! Talk about setting a bad example...

jenn said...

Oh, and my 5 years old will not use a "magic potty" unless I stand there with my hand over the sensor. They are sooo loud, and they scare her.

Lisa said...

Just last week we had some people over for dinner. We told them to come between 5:30 and 6 p.m. They came at 5:15! Dinner still wasn't even ready, the table wasn't set and my hubby didn't even get to take a shower yet at that point. So yes, I know what you mean when you say that.

Oh and next time I go into one of those restrooms where the toilets flush on their own? I'll be thinking of YOU. heehee.

Leeann said...

I love this list! So many...okay, probably ALL are things I would have listed!

Crazymamaof6 said...

fabulous list! so great! i could die at the surprise flush on your girly parts . COL(CACKLE OUT LOUD)