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1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day... Look at the bright side, she's a really good lay. 2. How could two people as beautiful as you ... (inside card) Have such an ugly baby? 3. My tire was thumping.... I thought it was flat.... when I looked at the tire.... I noticed your cat... Sorry 4. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends.... here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 5. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee and West Virginia) 6. I must admit, You brought religion into my life ... (inside card) I never believed in Hell Until I met you. 7. When we were together, You said you'd die for me ... (inside card) Now that we've broken up, I think it's time To keep your promise. 8. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy ... (inside card) Did you ever find out who the father was? 9. You are such a good friend! If we were on a sinking ship And there was only one life jacket ... (inside card) I'd miss you terribly 10. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! 'Cause when I had mine I got real snippy. 11. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be... But don't fret about it .... She moved in with me 12. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go ... (inside card) Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. 13. Congratulations on your wedding day! (inside card) Guess you didn't tell this one that you have genital herpes. |
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14 comments:
I laughed so hard that I forgot to spell, apparently. ;) Thank you for this hilarious list.
Ooohhh snap! Number 13 is brutal!! Thanks for the laugh :)
So funny my belly hurts (ooohhh, maybe I'm burning calories and tightening my abs--must read again)!
BTW, the Uncle Dad is so true. We live just over the border from WV (in Ohio) and boy let me tell ya--everyone there IS related!!! I'm not ripping on WV, I swear. Just speakin' from my own observations.
Those were pretty good, I liked them all but the LOL ones were #2, #3, #7, #9; ya so like I said, pretty much all of them :) Thanks!!
I love your sense of humor!!!! Those were a riot! If they ever had a contest of who always does the best TT's, you would win hands down!
as always thanks for the laugh! these were too funny!
i love #8 too funny. and #12. perfect for work friends! you are too funny!
You always have the funniest 13! Sooo funny!
Uhm, I can't imagine why they would get rejected. Sarcastic Greetings they would fit.
Awesome & fun TT, mine is up @ The Cafe.
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I love it!
my face hurts from laughing so hard...awesome T13!
These cracked me up! Happy TT!
Best. Thursday. Thirteen. YET.
You could make some BUCKS with those cards!!
hey there i dropped a little LOVE for you over on my blog. come and get it chickie!
You. Are. Welcome.
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