Thursday 13 #7

In the spirit of Christmas shopping (Have YOU started?)... 13 Things my children will NOT be receiving for Christmas, in spite of all the "I want that"'s that I hear!

1. Bratz Dolls. Who the heck came up with the thought, "Hey let's get some dolls with over sized heads and eyes, dress them up like hookers, and market them to little girls!"? Apparently they knew something I didn't, but regardless, my daughter will never, EVER have a Bratz doll.

2. Hot wheels sets. Now, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Hot Wheels. However, anytime my 5 year old son gets a "set", I have to put it together. Then, it never fails, it breaks after a day and a half. Then we have this huge Hot Wheel track in pieces and no place to put them. Sorry, kid, you may have to use your imagination this year!!

3. Aquadots. Even before I heard of the recall (the Aquadots have date rape drugs in them), I would never buy these for my kids. I mean, I am looking at minimal mess potential here. Have you SEEN these dots? Good Lord, they are these little tiny dots that stick together. They are so small and so conspicuous. I am just glad they are recalled. Now I can tell my kids, "Sorry, guys, Aquadots will KILL you. We can't buy them."

4. Furreal Friends S'mores Pony. This is just ridiculous. Why do these companies market such products ALL OVER the television?? It's bull crap; that's what it is. I don't know about you, but I don't have 250.00 to spend on my daughter. It's all over the freakin' TV and all I get when it comes on is a 3 year old girl jumping up and down excitedly screaming, "I want that! Get that for me, OK mommy??" Yeah, NO.

5. Mouse Trap.. It takes 3 hours to put together, 15 minutes to play, and 5 seconds to lose half the pieces. Um, No thanks.

6. Any board game with a NEW Edition (except the new Cranium...I Want that!!). My son wants RISK. It's 17.00. Oh, but now they have "Pirates of the Caribbean" risk RIGHT next to it, for how much?? Oh, yeah! $35.00. So now he doesn't want Risk, he wants the uber expensive Risk. Crap.

7. TMX Elmo, Cookie Monster OR Ernie. Cute, I must admit, but SCARY as hell. These things are a trip. Elmo's laugh scares the crap outta me anyway.

8. American Girl doll. For some reason, the American Girl catalog came to my house. I swear there are crazy spies stalking our homes. How is it that at Christmastime the appropriate magazines come to each house? I get American girl, Construction Playthings and Lego....Hmmm...could the magazines be more age appropriate?? OK, off the tangent. American girl is cute and all. But there HAS to be a doll out there with Blonde hair and brown eyes that I can tell my daughter that it looks just like her. I don't really need to spend $200, do I??

9. WWE Action Figures. I have a 12 year old that LOVES WWE. He also loves Action Figures. These things are ugly and I don't want them in my home. I am sure just having them around will devalue my home.

10. K'Nex Roller Coaster. If I can't put together Hot Wheels, what makes you think I will be able to put this one together?? I am getting a headache just looking at it.

11. The American Idol Talent Challenge.
As mothers, aren't we tortured enough??

12. Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? I will not allow my children to have it based solely on my competitiveness. It turns out, I am NOT smarter than a 5th grader, and so be it, NO ONE in this house will be proven to be. I MUST win!

13. Anything that makes an ungodly amount of noise. Why? It's unnecessary. And with three children, Lord knows there is enough noise to go around!